Living with a roommate in college can be the best thing ever — sharing clothes, making a new best friend, keeping each other motivated — or a nightmare — getting stuck with a kleptomaniac slacker who never does laundry. Whatever your luck turns out to be, privacy is always an issue that needs to be resolved as soon as possible. You might assume that everyone has a sense of common courtesy when it comes to privacy, but you might be surprised at your own misconceptions and mistakes that could lead to some stressful — and awkward — situations your first semester.
Everyone’s expectations for privacy differ, according to their personalities and their own family’s household dynamic. But basic rules should always apply from day one: close the bathroom door, don’t completely strip down in front of each other, and don’t touch your roommate’s things without asking. That includes clothes, school supplies, their computer, their bed, toiletries and food. And if you ever accidentally stumble across something that’s private, like a note from a boyfriend or a graded paper, immediately put it back where you found it, and don’t start snooping.
Besides the what-should-be obvious privacy tips, err on the side of being too polite, at least the first few days. After spending a week together living in the same cramped room, you’ll get a feel for how your roommate reacts to certain situations and how she or he plans out the day. From there, you can ask any questions you have about shower schedules, personal time, study schedules or sharing certain personal items to lay down the law early on. And when it comes to boyfriends or girlfriends sleeping over, try to avoid doing so when your roommate is in the room, too. Try the old sock-on-the-door hint if you need a little afternoon nookie, but don’t plan a romantic tryst during your roommate’s usual study time or nap time.
And if your roommate seems to be infringing upon your privacy a little too much, don’t let the situation escalate until you can’t help but freak out and turn the issue into a bigger deal than it is. Most likely, your roommate has no idea that he or she is irritating you, and unless you tell them, there’s no way they’ll know about your need for 30 minutes of quiet time after lunch every day. You’ll have to be flexible when you move in with a roommate, but keep communication lines open, and try to compromise your needs and schedules as early in the semester as possible.